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Enemy: a true story of courage, childhood trauma and the cost of war Kindle Edition
Award-winning author, Ruth Clare, learnt from a young age how to be a warrior. She protected her mum, stood up to her dad and defied authority in the face of injustice. But when the same fierceness that helped her survive the unpredictability and violence of her childhood threatened to hurt her relationship with her children, she knew she needed to find a way move beyond the anger that had once been her only protection.
By learning more about her father’s experience in the Vietnam War, and the unrecognized price families of veterans can pay for their parent’s military service, Ruth gains a deeper understanding of the often-generational nature of family trauma that helps her begin to let go of her past. Told with captivating urgency and breathtaking honesty, Enemy is a profoundly insightful true story of rising above the worst of circumstances and using the transformative power of compassion to heal.
"Resembling a novel in its sensory detail and riveting narrative." --Australian Book Review
"Brilliantly moving" --Annabel Crabb, Best-selling author
“Extraordinary memoir” -- Booktopia.
"An emotionally charged and thoroughly engaging book." --The Australian
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication date16 May 2023
- Reading age15 - 18 years
- File size4.2 MB
Product description
Review
"Resembling a novel in its sensory detail and riveting narrative." Australian Book Review
"Brilliantly moving." Annabel Crabb
"Extraordinary memoir." Booktopia
"An enormously rewarding and revealing exploration of the effects of war on family life and on the human soul and psyche... emotionally charged and thoroughly engaging." The Australian
"Powerful and heart-rending memoir, told with grace and empathy." Kate Forsyth, bestselling author
"A beautiful memoir about how our childhood shapes us and the scars it leaves." Amra Pajalic, author
"Stories such as Clare's must be read." Books + Publishing
"Ruth Clare brings history into the home with piercing intelligence, unflinching honesty and total, terrifying recall" Clare Wright, Stella prize-winning author
About the Author
Product details
- ASIN : B0C5JYBG9K
- Publisher : Life Lab Books; 2 edition (16 May 2023)
- Language : English
- File size : 4.2 MB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 312 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: 513,109 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
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Ruth Clare is an award-winning author, TEDx speaker and copywriter with a background in acting and a degree in biochemistry. Her TEDx talk, 'The Pain of Hiding Your True Self,' has had more than a half a million views. Ruth lives in Melbourne with her husband, two kids and a menagerie of animals. Visit ruthclare.com or connect with her on the socials @ruthclareauthor to find out more.
Customer reviews
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Customers say
Customers find the story powerful and well-told. They appreciate the author's honesty and vulnerability in describing her struggles and fears. The writing is clear, revealing the inner self and motivations. Overall, readers describe the book as an engaging read that sheds light on trauma and how it impacts families.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the story powerful and well-told. They appreciate the author's honesty and vulnerability about her struggles and fears. The book provides valuable insights into trauma and how it affects a family. Readers can feel the author's bewilderment as a child, her love, and rage as an adult.
"...She is so honest and vulnerable about her struggles and fears. I have honestly never read anything quite like it...." Read more
"...This one is different though, it’s told from the child’s inner world which is unique and heart felt. Highly recommended." Read more
"This is a wonderfully well told story of growing up with a difficult father and the struggle of keeping the family together...." Read more
"...Ruth’s voice shines through, you can feel her bewilderment as a small child, her love and rage as an adult - I hope her message is heard far and..." Read more
Customers appreciate the author's writing clarity. They say she writes with honesty and clarity, revealing an inner self and motivations.
"...up in a controlling and violent home is powerful, or that her writing is so vivid it makes you remember what it feels like to be a child...." Read more
"...Ruth has a way of connecting with her reader with honesty and clarity. Sometimes you’ll cry. I did...." Read more
"...She writes clearly, revealing an inner-self and motivations which make this book an interesting read...." Read more
"Amazing story, very touching and well written." Read more
Customers find the book readable and engaging.
"...An absolutely brilliant read." Read more
"Loved this book. Ruth has a way of connecting with her reader with honesty and clarity. Sometimes you’ll cry. I did...." Read more
"...revealing an inner-self and motivations which make this book an interesting read. There is a striving to understand and to make it better...." Read more
Reviews with images
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Top reviews from Australia
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- Reviewed in Australia on 17 June 2023Verified PurchaseI can’t remember the last time I read a book that affected me this deeply. It’s not just that the story Ruth Clare tells about her experience growing up in a controlling and violent home is powerful, or that her writing is so vivid it makes you remember what it feels like to be a child. This is a moving personal account of a mother determined to do more and be more for her children. She is so honest and vulnerable about her struggles and fears. I have honestly never read anything quite like it. The insights she has on the way her past has affected her has made me reflect on my own upbringing and the impacts it has had on my life. I found the way she is willing to do whatever it takes to find a new perspective so she can put the past behind her and celebrate the life she is living now so inspiring. An absolutely brilliant read.
I can’t remember the last time I read a book that affected me this deeply. It’s not just that the story Ruth Clare tells about her experience growing up in a controlling and violent home is powerful, or that her writing is so vivid it makes you remember what it feels like to be a child. This is a moving personal account of a mother determined to do more and be more for her children. She is so honest and vulnerable about her struggles and fears. I have honestly never read anything quite like it. The insights she has on the way her past has affected her has made me reflect on my own upbringing and the impacts it has had on my life. I found the way she is willing to do whatever it takes to find a new perspective so she can put the past behind her and celebrate the life she is living now so inspiring. An absolutely brilliant read.
Images in this review
- Reviewed in Australia on 20 May 2023Verified PurchaseLoved this book. Ruth has a way of connecting with her reader with honesty and clarity. Sometimes you’ll cry. I did. Enemy is a powerful story about how war rips families apart. This one is different though, it’s told from the child’s inner world which is unique and heart felt. Highly recommended.
- Reviewed in Australia on 2 July 2023Verified PurchaseThis is a wonderfully well told story of growing up with a difficult father and the struggle of keeping the family together. I’m grateful to the author Ruth Clare for telling her story. I have not personally experienced the effects of Vietnam war PTSD and did not realise it was a thing. No one I knew spoke about it but in retrospect it does explain the behaviour of some people I know. This should be compulsory reading in school and another reason why war can never be glorified.
- Reviewed in Australia on 13 June 2023Verified PurchaseGosh I love this book. It’s one that makes you want to contact the author to thank them for writing something SO courageous and moving. Ruth’s voice shines through, you can feel her bewilderment as a small child, her love and rage as an adult - I hope her message is heard far and wide - take heart, believe in your own strength, tell your story. Thank you Ruth.
- Reviewed in Australia on 31 January 2024Verified PurchaseRuth Clare's Enemy is a sincere rendering of her life in a family affected by her father playing out the traumatic effects of returning from the Vietnam War. Trained to be on constant alert, war veterans regimented and controlled their own partners and children to the point of driving them to walk on eggshells. Violence learnt in war transposed from the enemy to loved ones. Ruth describes the unstable, precarious and insecure family environment, treading between developing her own resilience and having compassion for her father. Yet, she had seen her mother dragged down and turn to drinking to cope. As an adult, it becomes imperative to find a better way than her own upbringing, as her infant son acts out against her. It is a turning point.
Ruth acknowledges the harrowing statistics of war, and then delves into the personal impacts. She writes clearly, revealing an inner-self and motivations which make this book an interesting read. There is a striving to understand and to make it better. There are enough anecdotes to see that for her, survival is a battle of wills and she will give as much as she gets. Survival is also about processing that the rejections and behaviours of her father are not because of her qualities. The Vietnam war cost her father an early death and guaranteed him and other veterans, a troubled life. On top of that, veterans were spurned by the community on returning, and left high and dry by the government. It cost their spouses and families lifelong heartbreak and struggles. This book is also valuable for its insights into trauma and how it plays out in a family.
As a child I lived next door to the Noonans in Gilgandra. Private Michael Noonan, aged 21 was killed in Long Khan Province on 13 September 1968, encountering the Viet Cong in a large bunker system. Pop Noonan, his grandfather, on learning the news sat at the woodpile and cried inconsolably for the rest of the day. The whole town stopped for the funeral and a 21 gun salute could be heard for miles around.
- Reviewed in Australia on 13 June 2023Verified PurchaseAmazing story, very touching and well written.
- Reviewed in Australia on 10 July 2024I loved spending time with this scrappy kid, Ruth. She has such spunk and intelligence and many natural gifts. Life threw her a lot of lemons and it was difficult not to feel incredibly angry towards her parents: her father for his violence and her mother for her drinking. Ruth's desire to forgive her father in particular was admirable, and to look for answers regarding the PTSD that many Vietnam veterans bring home with them after the war.
Ruth is a beautiful writer. After her father forgot her birthday but after giving her sister a ghetto blaster for hers, Ruth writes:
"I tried to keep my face in a neutral position but my chin moved up and down under aching cheeks. I looked out the window. Clothesline. Fence. Tree. Truck. Water roared in my ears as a wave of worthlessness threatened to lift me off my feet."
I highly recommend this haunting memoir, Enemy.
- Reviewed in Australia on 18 June 2023As a daughter of a Vietnam Veteran, a nasho in particular, I could personally relate to Ruth's beautifully written, heart wrenching account of what it's like growing up with a father suffering PTSD from the war.
I couldn't put it down as I wept through the pages and finally started my own healing at aged 50.
For the first time In my life, I felt that it was not only me and this was the validation I so desperately needed.
Ruth's courage to share her story, made a pathway for me to foster a deeper relationship with my father,
I was able to finally feel empathy, understanding and forgiveness for him instead of blame and resentment, and I am so grateful that he is still with us.
I truly think, without this book, I would've never known any different, as it is a story that it seldom told.
We need more books like this, highlighting the life long impact of war not only on it's veterans, but their families, particularly the innocent children, who can end up with enormous psychological challenges.
Thank you Ruth.
Top reviews from other countries
- chicochick57Reviewed in the United States on 11 July 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars Raw and real …
Verified PurchaseFor those who grow up and lived in “normal” homes the events in this book may seem like fiction but they are not! I also grew up in a domestically violent home. But my Mom, although not perfect, did her best to work and provide for our family when she was being treated horribly. She is my hero! I read this book because I could relate to an alcoholic father (although he was never in a war), it was just pure addiction from the time he was a teen.
Being the oldest of three siblings I took on the role of protector of my Mom and was her best friend. My brothers have not fared so well as they are both addicts. I married well and had two children and tried to break the cycle.
I read this book to try to understand how my growing-up years might have affected my parenting. It was insightful but tough to read at times. It takes a lot of grit and determination to become your best self despite such dysfunction. I am thankful that Ruth was able to do so as well as myself.
- Amazon KundeReviewed in Germany on 21 August 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this memoir. An inspiringly told story of climbing out of a childhood filled with abuse.
Verified PurchaseThe memoir delves into the raw and unfiltered emotions of a young girl shaped by a history of abuse, highlighting her resilience and determination to rise above her circumstances. Ruth's writing is candid and allows readers to connect with the emotional nuances of her story.
While the subject matter is undeniably intense, Clare's storytelling approach strikes a delicate balance between vulnerability and strength. Her prose draws readers in, making it difficult to put the book down. (Trigger warning: physical abuse)
- FreegirlReviewed in the United States on 26 July 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars Thoroughly good memoir
Verified PurchaseExcellent book. Ruth's writing is personal and paints a picture of her life. I enjoyed the book and was moved by her honesty. I highly recommended this book! I love it when the author adds photos. It makes the characters come alive.